Creating Life's Garden

Gardening, Growth and Grief: How to Cultivate the Garden of Your Life

What are you planting?

I think of our life as a garden. In that garden are flowers and weeds. The flowers are the parts of our lives that are flourishing, the parts that bring us joy and nurture us. The weeds are the parts of our lives that drain our energy, cause us anxiety or bring us down. When we want to make a change or start something new, we need to remove the weeds to make space for the seeds of what we want to create. What are you currently planting in the garden of your soul?

What changes do you seek?

Keep in mind that this does not have to be a large change. You could plan on drinking more water that helps your body be more fluid and in flow. I find as we make one small change, other small changes follow. Drinking more water flows into choosing to move more or going to bed at an hour that supports our sleep or eating more vegetables. Small changes in our business life can be showing up with a new offering that lights up our heart.

What can you release to make space for the new growth?

There can also be grief when you make small changes. For example, going to bed earlier to support healthy sleep habits may mean you spend less time late in the evening scrolling on your phone, gaming, reading or talking. You may grieve these other activities even when you benefit from the rest. The garden can be like that, as a plant finishes its bloom cycle it may droop in the garden, and you may grieve the beautiful blossoms. Another plant will bloom next. With increased rest you may find it easier to add the activities you released at other times of day or find the energy to try new ones. Letting go makes space for renewed vitality and the space to choose new habits, practices or activities that light us up.

How can you focus on the good?

It is often the thoughts we choose that have the biggest impact on how we see the garden of our life. It is easy to focus on thoughts that are like weeds, those that bring us down, or bring us to see our life negatively. The more we focus on these thoughts, the more discouraged we may become. Feeling discouraged is natural when things are not going well. However, a negativity bias means we can be trained to focus on negative thoughts to keep ourselves safe or protected. Then when a positive thought or experience comes in, we can miss it. We need to train ourselves to focus on the good.

You and your feelings matter

Every thought has a reaction. Reactions can bring up body sensations or feelings. Every feeling matters. Listening to our bodies and what they need matters. Self-care is essential in our lives to help us manage our inner and outer garden. Find what comforts and supports you as you learn to focus on the flowers and release the weeds. This may mean journalling the evidence of the changes you are making, developing or finding resources or guides to help you. In the example of drinking more water, you could buy yourself a new water bottle or keep track with stars or checkmarks of how much water you drink each day.

Focus on the growth

It seems easier for us as humans to focus on what we see as our failures. However, all failures or mistakes are simply opportunities to learn. Circumstances can vary and change can work at a different time. In a garden, cycles and seasons matter. Some years I have a thriving cucumber crop, other years it is tomatoes and green peppers. I can make the same actions, plant at the same time, same seeds and same soil and for some reason the season differs this year. It is all learning. I can focus on what I lost, or I can focus on the growth that is happening all around me, in my garden and in my life. The choice is up to you. I encourage you to focus on what is going well and learn from what you feel you might change, one change at a time. Stay open and curious to how you want your life garden to look. And keep dreaming, your dreams are your future self’s way of communicating with you about what can grow in the garden of your life next. Your dreams are the bridge to your future.

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